Despite being a cold English and straight without heart, I love kids and one of the things I want for my future is to become a mother (even mom some kind of English / Argentine hybrid). However, after living 20 years in England and 10 years here, I still feel very conflicted about how to create a child.

Argentine style or English style?

In England, a number of rules and regulations (particularly among the middle classes) on how to produce the perfect child. If you’re a person with a minimum level of self-respect, not procreating you prune walk out there without a very detailed on how to raise the ideal citizen plan. This group of mothers (self-named ” Yummy mummies “- that is, well dressed breasts, arregladitas, intelligent and independent … besides being amazing breasts) spend their lives trying to produce better than their friends son. Nenitos to send the French lessons, take them to singing groups for babies, feed them only organic food and leave breastfeed until they reach puberty. When the mummies yummy are not occupied being the perfect breasts, you prune to find them the other 22 hours a day online in forums Mumsnet (one kind of social network for competitive breasts), pretending to be the mummy more yummy there … and criticizing all the others.

In Argentina, however, moms have a much more relaxed attitude when it comes to raising their children … so relaxed that sometimes one has the feeling that kids can do what the hell they want.

Do not prune move one square meter in this city to another without hitting at least 10 humans with less than 3 years old. They are everywhere. And not just places where you expect to see a baby as play parks and centers of McDonald’s and the zoo … but everywhere.

Here, it is completely normal to go somewhere nice for a romantic dinner restaurant, and suddenly see a couple of sticky fingers and sweaty head up from under your desk to grab the teat and steal a potato chip . And it’s completely normal to raise the head (horrified if you’re English) to see what the fuck is wrong with that nasty creature parents, and see you there, smiling at the next table without any intention to apologize. Maybe you get a ” How funny is Joaquincito not ? “(October 8 Argentine babies are called Joaquin).

I advise now (because if there are English readers) here is totally unacceptable answer ” No, it’s not funny in the least. Spend all week breaking my neck laburo to enjoy two hours alone with my husband and your ugly dwarf just sexually harass and put his cacoso hand (and surely your e-coli) throughout my dinner – that now I can not diarearoso eat without riskingdeath. ”

In England, fortunately, children are not welcome anywhere. And yes, in case anyone escapes from its cage, we are fans of the discipline. When I started school at age 4 (yes, 4 years … the garden is for wimps!) teachers you could still hit. Even the yummy mummies are socially accepted penalties that can implement when their children are under-performing: Time Out, some strong words, some privileges them out, etc, etc. For them, there is a more serious tragedy to have a child misbehaves in public (which surely would be happy to contacts in mumsnet )

In Argentina there is no discipline for children. I’ve seen Argentine children running around on a plane hitting the escape hatch, or passed by cocaine (COLA) in kicking bondis other passengers … and quiet there without saying a word breast. But when someone says something against their beautiful babies, Argentina’s breasts are transformed into a kind of werewolf. In fact, I remember a couple of years ago when a breast attacked a teacher (and the left in a coma) for giving a low note to your child.

Telling an Argentine father that his son is less than perfect could end in death … literally.

Even I can not decide which is the worst group – moms who spend their lives on the Internet or moms who let children do what they sing. But seeing as I transormado a kind of Anglo / argento monster in recent years, incorporating all the worst of my two cultures, I suspect I’ll be the worst all happening … my child childhood writing my friends in mumsnet while the poor kid is full of sugar … and when he does something wrong, will break the ortho to the person who dares to criticize …